October 2013

Loyalty and integrity are two character traits I think we all desire in ourselves and in others.  I like loyal people.  They are friends and co-workers I know I can depend on.  It does not matter how bad the situation may be.  I know I can count on the loyal people in my life.

I like people of integrity as well.  I like knowing I never have to question their words, actions, or motives.  What you see is what you get.  Their integrity makes trusting them easy.

But should loyalty ever trump integrity?  Is there a time when that is appropriate?

Which Is The Trump Card?

Intellectually, most of us would argue that integrity should always come first.  Unfortunately that does not always happen.  Here is a short list of when people put loyalty before integrity:

When Loyalty Has Trumped Integrity

Loyalty To Individuals

• Previously honorable Germans who’s allegiance to Hitler allowed him to slaughter millions.
• Charles Colson and other aides to Richard Nixon as they manipulated the 1972 election resulting in Watergate.
• Followers of Jim Jones and David Koresh as those men abused others and eventually led them to their deaths.

Loyalty To Institutions

• Politicians when they use half-truths or attack ads in order to win control of a legislature.
• Penn State’s Athletic Department when they hid the facts about an assistant coach abusing children.
• Boosters, coaches and players at Oklahoma State when they cheated to build a better football team.

The list above is short, and I am sure some people think I am being overly dramatic.  But, let’s look at when we might be tempted to put loyalty before our integrity.

Loyalty’s Temptations

• When we see a friend cheating on a test in high school or college.
• When our best friend at work asks us to omit some details in a report that may make him look bad.
• When our child asks us not to tell our spouse about something they did.
• When the best boss we ever had asks us to delay turning in some expenses until the start of the new budget cycle so he can come in under budget.
• When our best friend asks us to be silent about his mistress.
• When our spouse wants to avoid reporting some income to the IRS.

What Would You Do?

It is easy in a blog post to say I would never succumb to any of these temptations.  But, I have.  Unfortunately, I am not alone.  Many people have let loyalty take the lead over integrity.

The issue in these cases is courage.  Do I have the courage at the moment to do what is right?

Integrity Stands Above Loyalty

In a world full of things I cannot control, my integrity one of the few things I have 100% control over.  I always have a choice.

The choices are not easy.  But there is always a choice – Defend my integrity or sacrifice it.

The Cadet Honor Code at West Point states:

A cadet will not lie, cheat or steal nor tolerate those who do.

The clause on toleration is a direct reflection on how strong a pull loyalty is.  At West Point, integrity was to stand above loyalty.  If I chose loyalty above integrity, and did not turn in a friend who cheated on a test, I was just as guilty as he was.

Any cadet who chooses loyalty to a friend over integrity faced expulsion along with his cheating friend.  In the beginning for many cadets, this lesson was the hardest implement.

The Bottom Line:

For most West Point graduates, that lesson in loyalty and toleration was a defining one in the honing of our character.  It was a difficult pill to swallow then, and it still is to this day.

Unfortunately, some graduates have publicly allowed their loyalty to an individual or to an institution trump their integrity.  These were men or women who succumbed to putting loyalty before integrity even though they had four years of character training to prepare them for that test.

The lesson in those cases is – we are all vulnerable to this trap.

Integrity stands above loyalty when it comes to essential character traits for all of us.  We have to recognize the damage we do to our character whenever we allow loyalty to be our #1 priority.  Then we must act on what we know is right!

The question we must all ask ourselves when we are tempted to put loyalty first is:

“How much do I value the most important and most controllable thing in my life?”

My Integrity

Question:

Do you think there is ever a time loyalty should trump integrity?

Receive My Future Blogs By Email

Loyalty and integrity are two character traits I think we all desire in ourselves and in others.  I like loyal people.  They are friends and co-workers I know I can depend on.  It does not matter how bad the situation may be.  I know I can count on the loyal people in my life.

I like people of integrity as well.  I like knowing I never have to question their words, actions, or motives.  What you see is what you get.  Their integrity makes trusting them easy.

But should loyalty ever trump integrity?  Is there a time when that is appropriate?

Which Is The Trump Card?

Intellectually, most of us would argue that integrity should always come first.  Unfortunately that does not always happen.  Here is a short list of when people put loyalty before integrity:

When Loyalty Has Trumped Integrity

Loyalty To Individuals

• Previously honorable Germans who’s allegiance to Hitler allowed him to slaughter millions.
• Charles Colson and other aides to Richard Nixon as they manipulated the 1972 election resulting in Watergate.
• Followers of Jim Jones and David Koresh as those men abused others and eventually led them to their deaths.

Loyalty To Institutions

• Politicians when they use half-truths or attack ads in order to win control of a legislature.
• Penn State’s Athletic Department when they hid the facts about an assistant coach abusing children.
• Boosters, coaches and players at Oklahoma State when they cheated to build a better football team.

The list above is short, and I am sure some people think I am being overly dramatic.  But, let’s look at when we might be tempted to put loyalty before our integrity.

Loyalty’s Temptations

• When we see a friend cheating on a test in high school or college.
• When our best friend at work asks us to omit some details in a report that may make him look bad.
• When our child asks us not to tell our spouse about something they did.
• When the best boss we ever had asks us to delay turning in some expenses until the start of the new budget cycle so he can come in under budget.
• When our best friend asks us to be silent about his mistress.
• When our spouse wants to avoid reporting some income to the IRS.

What Would You Do?

It is easy in a blog post to say I would never succumb to any of these temptations.  But, I have.  Unfortunately, I am not alone.  Many people have let loyalty take the lead over integrity.

The issue in these cases is courage.  Do I have the courage at the moment to do what is right?

Integrity Stands Above Loyalty

In a world full of things I cannot control, my integrity one of the few things I have 100% control over.  I always have a choice.

The choices are not easy.  But there is always a choice – Defend my integrity or sacrifice it.

The Cadet Honor Code at West Point states:

A cadet will not lie, cheat or steal nor tolerate those who do.

The clause on toleration is a direct reflection on how strong a pull loyalty is.  At West Point, integrity was to stand above loyalty.  If I chose loyalty above integrity, and did not turn in a friend who cheated on a test, I was just as guilty as he was.

Any cadet who chooses loyalty to a friend over integrity faced expulsion along with his cheating friend.  In the beginning for many cadets, this lesson was the hardest implement.

The Bottom Line:

For most West Point graduates, that lesson in loyalty and toleration was a defining one in the honing of our character.  It was a difficult pill to swallow then, and it still is to this day.

Unfortunately, some graduates have publicly allowed their loyalty to an individual or to an institution trump their integrity.  These were men or women who succumbed to putting loyalty before integrity even though they had four years of character training to prepare them for that test.

The lesson in those cases is – we are all vulnerable to this trap.

Integrity stands above loyalty when it comes to essential character traits for all of us.  We have to recognize the damage we do to our character whenever we allow loyalty to be our #1 priority.  Then we must act on what we know is right!

The question we must all ask ourselves when we are tempted to put loyalty first is:

“How much do I value the most important and most controllable thing in my life?”

My Integrity

Question:

Do you think there is ever a time loyalty should trump integrity?

Receive My Future Blogs By Email

Loyalty and integrity are two character traits I think we all desire in ourselves and in others.  I like loyal people.  They are friends and co-workers I know I can depend on.  It does not matter how bad the situation may be.  I know I can count on the loyal people in my life.

I like people of integrity as well.  I like knowing I never have to question their words, actions, or motives.  What you see is what you get.  Their integrity makes trusting them easy.

But should loyalty ever trump integrity?  Is there a time when that is appropriate?

Which Is The Trump Card?

Intellectually, most of us would argue that integrity should always come first.  Unfortunately that does not always happen.  Here is a short list of when people put loyalty before integrity:

When Loyalty Has Trumped Integrity

Loyalty To Individuals

• Previously honorable Germans who’s allegiance to Hitler allowed him to slaughter millions.
• Charles Colson and other aides to Richard Nixon as they manipulated the 1972 election resulting in Watergate.
• Followers of Jim Jones and David Koresh as those men abused others and eventually led them to their deaths.

Loyalty To Institutions

• Politicians when they use half-truths or attack ads in order to win control of a legislature.
• Penn State’s Athletic Department when they hid the facts about an assistant coach abusing children.
• Boosters, coaches and players at Oklahoma State when they cheated to build a better football team.

The list above is short, and I am sure some people think I am being overly dramatic.  But, let’s look at when we might be tempted to put loyalty before our integrity.

Loyalty’s Temptations

• When we see a friend cheating on a test in high school or college.
• When our best friend at work asks us to omit some details in a report that may make him look bad.
• When our child asks us not to tell our spouse about something they did.
• When the best boss we ever had asks us to delay turning in some expenses until the start of the new budget cycle so he can come in under budget.
• When our best friend asks us to be silent about his mistress.
• When our spouse wants to avoid reporting some income to the IRS.

What Would You Do?

It is easy in a blog post to say I would never succumb to any of these temptations.  But, I have.  Unfortunately, I am not alone.  Many people have let loyalty take the lead over integrity.

The issue in these cases is courage.  Do I have the courage at the moment to do what is right?

Integrity Stands Above Loyalty

In a world full of things I cannot control, my integrity one of the few things I have 100% control over.  I always have a choice.

The choices are not easy.  But there is always a choice – Defend my integrity or sacrifice it.

The Cadet Honor Code at West Point states:

A cadet will not lie, cheat or steal nor tolerate those who do.

The clause on toleration is a direct reflection on how strong a pull loyalty is.  At West Point, integrity was to stand above loyalty.  If I chose loyalty above integrity, and did not turn in a friend who cheated on a test, I was just as guilty as he was.

Any cadet who chooses loyalty to a friend over integrity faced expulsion along with his cheating friend.  In the beginning for many cadets, this lesson was the hardest implement.

The Bottom Line:

For most West Point graduates, that lesson in loyalty and toleration was a defining one in the honing of our character.  It was a difficult pill to swallow then, and it still is to this day.

Unfortunately, some graduates have publicly allowed their loyalty to an individual or to an institution trump their integrity.  These were men or women who succumbed to putting loyalty before integrity even though they had four years of character training to prepare them for that test.

The lesson in those cases is – we are all vulnerable to this trap.

Integrity stands above loyalty when it comes to essential character traits for all of us.  We have to recognize the damage we do to our character whenever we allow loyalty to be our #1 priority.  Then we must act on what we know is right!

The question we must all ask ourselves when we are tempted to put loyalty first is:

“How much do I value the most important and most controllable thing in my life?”

My Integrity

Question:

Do you think there is ever a time loyalty should trump integrity?

Receive My Future Blogs By Email

Loyalty and integrity are two character traits I think we all desire in ourselves and in others.  I like loyal people.  They are friends and co-workers I know I can depend on.  It does not matter how bad the situation may be.  I know I can count on the loyal people in my life.

I like people of integrity as well.  I like knowing I never have to question their words, actions, or motives.  What you see is what you get.  Their integrity makes trusting them easy.

But should loyalty ever trump integrity?  Is there a time when that is appropriate?

Which Is The Trump Card?

Intellectually, most of us would argue that integrity should always come first.  Unfortunately that does not always happen.  Here is a short list of when people put loyalty before integrity:

When Loyalty Has Trumped Integrity

Loyalty To Individuals

• Previously honorable Germans who’s allegiance to Hitler allowed him to slaughter millions.
• Charles Colson and other aides to Richard Nixon as they manipulated the 1972 election resulting in Watergate.
• Followers of Jim Jones and David Koresh as those men abused others and eventually led them to their deaths.

Loyalty To Institutions

• Politicians when they use half-truths or attack ads in order to win control of a legislature.
• Penn State’s Athletic Department when they hid the facts about an assistant coach abusing children.
• Boosters, coaches and players at Oklahoma State when they cheated to build a better football team.

The list above is short, and I am sure some people think I am being overly dramatic.  But, let’s look at when we might be tempted to put loyalty before our integrity.

Loyalty’s Temptations

• When we see a friend cheating on a test in high school or college.
• When our best friend at work asks us to omit some details in a report that may make him look bad.
• When our child asks us not to tell our spouse about something they did.
• When the best boss we ever had asks us to delay turning in some expenses until the start of the new budget cycle so he can come in under budget.
• When our best friend asks us to be silent about his mistress.
• When our spouse wants to avoid reporting some income to the IRS.

What Would You Do?

It is easy in a blog post to say I would never succumb to any of these temptations.  But, I have.  Unfortunately, I am not alone.  Many people have let loyalty take the lead over integrity.

The issue in these cases is courage.  Do I have the courage at the moment to do what is right?

Integrity Stands Above Loyalty

In a world full of things I cannot control, my integrity one of the few things I have 100% control over.  I always have a choice.

The choices are not easy.  But there is always a choice – Defend my integrity or sacrifice it.

The Cadet Honor Code at West Point states:

A cadet will not lie, cheat or steal nor tolerate those who do.

The clause on toleration is a direct reflection on how strong a pull loyalty is.  At West Point, integrity was to stand above loyalty.  If I chose loyalty above integrity, and did not turn in a friend who cheated on a test, I was just as guilty as he was.

Any cadet who chooses loyalty to a friend over integrity faced expulsion along with his cheating friend.  In the beginning for many cadets, this lesson was the hardest implement.

The Bottom Line:

For most West Point graduates, that lesson in loyalty and toleration was a defining one in the honing of our character.  It was a difficult pill to swallow then, and it still is to this day.

Unfortunately, some graduates have publicly allowed their loyalty to an individual or to an institution trump their integrity.  These were men or women who succumbed to putting loyalty before integrity even though they had four years of character training to prepare them for that test.

The lesson in those cases is – we are all vulnerable to this trap.

Integrity stands above loyalty when it comes to essential character traits for all of us.  We have to recognize the damage we do to our character whenever we allow loyalty to be our #1 priority.  Then we must act on what we know is right!

The question we must all ask ourselves when we are tempted to put loyalty first is:

“How much do I value the most important and most controllable thing in my life?”

My Integrity

Question:

Do you think there is ever a time loyalty should trump integrity?

Receive My Future Blogs By Email

Loyalty and integrity are two character traits I think we all desire in ourselves and in others.  I like loyal people.  They are friends and co-workers I know I can depend on.  It does not matter how bad the situation may be.  I know I can count on the loyal people in my life.

I like people of integrity as well.  I like knowing I never have to question their words, actions, or motives.  What you see is what you get.  Their integrity makes trusting them easy.

But should loyalty ever trump integrity?  Is there a time when that is appropriate?

Which Is The Trump Card?

Intellectually, most of us would argue that integrity should always come first.  Unfortunately that does not always happen.  Here is a short list of when people put loyalty before integrity:

When Loyalty Has Trumped Integrity

Loyalty To Individuals

• Previously honorable Germans who’s allegiance to Hitler allowed him to slaughter millions.
• Charles Colson and other aides to Richard Nixon as they manipulated the 1972 election resulting in Watergate.
• Followers of Jim Jones and David Koresh as those men abused others and eventually led them to their deaths.

Loyalty To Institutions

• Politicians when they use half-truths or attack ads in order to win control of a legislature.
• Penn State’s Athletic Department when they hid the facts about an assistant coach abusing children.
• Boosters, coaches and players at Oklahoma State when they cheated to build a better football team.

The list above is short, and I am sure some people think I am being overly dramatic.  But, let’s look at when we might be tempted to put loyalty before our integrity.

Loyalty’s Temptations

• When we see a friend cheating on a test in high school or college.
• When our best friend at work asks us to omit some details in a report that may make him look bad.
• When our child asks us not to tell our spouse about something they did.
• When the best boss we ever had asks us to delay turning in some expenses until the start of the new budget cycle so he can come in under budget.
• When our best friend asks us to be silent about his mistress.
• When our spouse wants to avoid reporting some income to the IRS.

What Would You Do?

It is easy in a blog post to say I would never succumb to any of these temptations.  But, I have.  Unfortunately, I am not alone.  Many people have let loyalty take the lead over integrity.

The issue in these cases is courage.  Do I have the courage at the moment to do what is right?

Integrity Stands Above Loyalty

In a world full of things I cannot control, my integrity one of the few things I have 100% control over.  I always have a choice.

The choices are not easy.  But there is always a choice – Defend my integrity or sacrifice it.

The Cadet Honor Code at West Point states:

A cadet will not lie, cheat or steal nor tolerate those who do.

The clause on toleration is a direct reflection on how strong a pull loyalty is.  At West Point, integrity was to stand above loyalty.  If I chose loyalty above integrity, and did not turn in a friend who cheated on a test, I was just as guilty as he was.

Any cadet who chooses loyalty to a friend over integrity faced expulsion along with his cheating friend.  In the beginning for many cadets, this lesson was the hardest implement.

The Bottom Line:

For most West Point graduates, that lesson in loyalty and toleration was a defining one in the honing of our character.  It was a difficult pill to swallow then, and it still is to this day.

Unfortunately, some graduates have publicly allowed their loyalty to an individual or to an institution trump their integrity.  These were men or women who succumbed to putting loyalty before integrity even though they had four years of character training to prepare them for that test.

The lesson in those cases is – we are all vulnerable to this trap.

Integrity stands above loyalty when it comes to essential character traits for all of us.  We have to recognize the damage we do to our character whenever we allow loyalty to be our #1 priority.  Then we must act on what we know is right!

The question we must all ask ourselves when we are tempted to put loyalty first is:

“How much do I value the most important and most controllable thing in my life?”

My Integrity

Question:

Do you think there is ever a time loyalty should trump integrity?

Receive My Future Blogs By Email

Loyalty and integrity are two character traits I think we all desire in ourselves and in others.  I like loyal people.  They are friends and co-workers I know I can depend on.  It does not matter how bad the situation may be.  I know I can count on the loyal people in my life.

I like people of integrity as well.  I like knowing I never have to question their words, actions, or motives.  What you see is what you get.  Their integrity makes trusting them easy.

But should loyalty ever trump integrity?  Is there a time when that is appropriate?

Which Is The Trump Card?

Intellectually, most of us would argue that integrity should always come first.  Unfortunately that does not always happen.  Here is a short list of when people put loyalty before integrity:

When Loyalty Has Trumped Integrity

Loyalty To Individuals

• Previously honorable Germans who’s allegiance to Hitler allowed him to slaughter millions.
• Charles Colson and other aides to Richard Nixon as they manipulated the 1972 election resulting in Watergate.
• Followers of Jim Jones and David Koresh as those men abused others and eventually led them to their deaths.

Loyalty To Institutions

• Politicians when they use half-truths or attack ads in order to win control of a legislature.
• Penn State’s Athletic Department when they hid the facts about an assistant coach abusing children.
• Boosters, coaches and players at Oklahoma State when they cheated to build a better football team.

The list above is short, and I am sure some people think I am being overly dramatic.  But, let’s look at when we might be tempted to put loyalty before our integrity.

Loyalty’s Temptations

• When we see a friend cheating on a test in high school or college.
• When our best friend at work asks us to omit some details in a report that may make him look bad.
• When our child asks us not to tell our spouse about something they did.
• When the best boss we ever had asks us to delay turning in some expenses until the start of the new budget cycle so he can come in under budget.
• When our best friend asks us to be silent about his mistress.
• When our spouse wants to avoid reporting some income to the IRS.

What Would You Do?

It is easy in a blog post to say I would never succumb to any of these temptations.  But, I have.  Unfortunately, I am not alone.  Many people have let loyalty take the lead over integrity.

The issue in these cases is courage.  Do I have the courage at the moment to do what is right?

Integrity Stands Above Loyalty

In a world full of things I cannot control, my integrity one of the few things I have 100% control over.  I always have a choice.

The choices are not easy.  But there is always a choice – Defend my integrity or sacrifice it.

The Cadet Honor Code at West Point states:

A cadet will not lie, cheat or steal nor tolerate those who do.

The clause on toleration is a direct reflection on how strong a pull loyalty is.  At West Point, integrity was to stand above loyalty.  If I chose loyalty above integrity, and did not turn in a friend who cheated on a test, I was just as guilty as he was.

Any cadet who chooses loyalty to a friend over integrity faced expulsion along with his cheating friend.  In the beginning for many cadets, this lesson was the hardest implement.

The Bottom Line:

For most West Point graduates, that lesson in loyalty and toleration was a defining one in the honing of our character.  It was a difficult pill to swallow then, and it still is to this day.

Unfortunately, some graduates have publicly allowed their loyalty to an individual or to an institution trump their integrity.  These were men or women who succumbed to putting loyalty before integrity even though they had four years of character training to prepare them for that test.

The lesson in those cases is – we are all vulnerable to this trap.

Integrity stands above loyalty when it comes to essential character traits for all of us.  We have to recognize the damage we do to our character whenever we allow loyalty to be our #1 priority.  Then we must act on what we know is right!

The question we must all ask ourselves when we are tempted to put loyalty first is:

“How much do I value the most important and most controllable thing in my life?”

My Integrity

Question:

Do you think there is ever a time loyalty should trump integrity?

Receive My Future Blogs By Email

Anderson Leadership Solutions brings 20 plus years of sales and sales leadership experience to your organization.  In his career, Dave Anderson personally conducted over 15,000 sales calls and observed and coached an additional 20,000 sales calls.

By enhancing sales skills, building innovative compensation systems, teaching a system of wise strategic and tactical decision making and improving front line coaching of your sales management, Anderson Leadership Solutions will be the catalyst to measurable growth in your sales performance and increased value in your marketing initiatives.  If you are looking for results like this, contact us here.

Our solutions are tailored to your needs.  Our projects will focus on developing processes within your sales and marketing groups that improve productivity and efficiency.  We also train, coach and speak to your sales force in order to help you attract top talent, obtain and retain loyal customers, and produce revenue growth year after year.

Here are some project, training and speaking topics that can be modified to fit your needs:

Sales and Marketing Establishing Trust High Impact Selling Dealing With Difficult Customer Hiring For Character Firing—When and How To End It Using Questions To Grow, Build Trust and Grow Sales Conversational Selling Building Successful Sales Teams Coaching Sales People Listen to the Customers Who is My Target Audience?

Priority Marketing

Contact us here to see if your unique needs and the solutions we provide are a fit.

I had a dream that I worked for a company that got rid of it’s Human Resources Department.  There were no more HR manuals or HR classes.

This was not a result of ineffective HR professionals.  They just weren’t needed in that company. Was this heaven?

No.  It was a dream.  But, after rereading John Maxwell’s book, There Is No Such Thing As “Business” Ethics, I believe there is one Standard Operating Procedure that could make the dream a reality.  The Golden Rule.

The Golden Rule

Here is a description of what that Standard Operating Procedure might look like:

The Golden Rule

“How would I like to be treated in this situation?”

At Acme Inc. it is our duty to ask, “Is what we are doing right?” Further, “Is what we are doing right for our customers, our teammates, our families and our company?” While some individuals or organizations base ethical decisions on what is legal or what circumstances they face, Acme Inc. has a sense of peace that comes from following a moral compass that points the same way no matter the situation, the current fashion, or the latest trend.

Acme Inc. believes that we must:

1. Operate by a defined standard.
2. Willfully maintain that standard.
3. Act courageously on our beliefs.

Acme Inc.’s  Standard Operating Procedure is The Golden Rule. 

“How would I like to be treated in this situation?”

The Golden Rule is fundamentally a Christian value:  “So whatever you wish that others would do to you do also to them.”  However, similar values and philosophies are found in other cultures and religions worldwide.

“How would I like to be treated in this situation?” is an integrity guideline for any situation.

It is the framework for every strong relationship and any lasting business.

The Golden Rule guides Acme Inc. in five distinct ways:

• We will treat a person better than they treat us.
• We will trust a person until they prove untrustworthy.
• We will value a person because all of us were created by God to have value.
• We will do the right thing no matter the personal cost.
• We will keep our promises to our customers and to each other.

At Acme Inc. we will always strive to do the right thing by following The Golden Rule.  It is a standard that we will build our culture upon.  It is a standard we are proud to adhere to. It is a standard that needs courage to follow.

As C. S. Lewis accurately stated:

“Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at its testing point.”

The Bottom Line:

Imagine working for a company that operated like this!  Imagine what it would be like to go to work there each day!  Imagine how much more productive businesses could be if the HR departments were not needed!

Do you need a vivid imagination to get to this point?  Probably.  But, if we all took the Golden Rule to work with us, how much better would the culture at work be?

Question:

How can you step out and apply The Golden Rule at work this week?

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He was more amped up then a Chihuahua after a can of Red Bull.  Here was my peer yelling at me because some people were sitting in the wrong area of a conference room during a sales meeting.

When I told him we could “make it work as is”, he said “Well I am glad you can be so flip about this Dave!”

Some people do not react well to stress.  In fact some people create their own stress and then don’t react to it well.  On the other hand, other people never seem flustered by the most stressful circumstances.  What do the calm have that the amped up Chihuahua does not?

Are You Really Calm?

Calm People Maintain Perspective

My response to the Red Bull addicted Chihuahua was “Maybe I seem flip because a few years ago I had people in the Middle East trying to shoot me.  This issue seems to pale in comparison.”

That may have not been the most eloquent way to handle the situation, but it illustrates how perspective helps people remain calm.  Experience can give seasoned veterans perspective, just as my experience in the Middle East gave me perspective.

When someone loses sight of the big picture, stress is not far behind.   Some of us have been through a lot in business or in life that allows us to stay calm.  This perspective needs to be shared to bolster the inexperienced people around us.

We lose perspective when we focus on the means without regard for then end or on ourselves without regard for others.  In both cases our perspective becomes myopic and our ability to remain calm is hindered.

A Person With Perspective May Say:

“Yeah.  Things aren’t good.  But lets focus on fixing this versus looking at the possibility of complete and utter failure.”

“I know this is hard on you now.  But, what can you take from it that will make you better?”

Calm People Prioritize

If I don’t know what is important, then everything seems important.  Stressed people tend to move from one crisis to another.  Their days are filled with problems, causing them to eat Tums like they are M&M’s.

I know as a leader, a husband and a father I have to juggle a lot of balls.   If I regard everything I am juggling like balls of fine crystal, dropping one feels like a disaster.  But in reality, some of the balls I am juggling are rubber balls.  They can be dropped without much damage.

Calm people know what their priorities are at work and in life.  They are calm because they have established what is important to them and rarely allow circumstances to cause them to waver from those priorities.

Honestly, if circumstances are consistently changing my priorities, then those things are not my real priorities.  Claiming priorities does not make them priorities, my actions do. 

A Person Who Prioritizes May Say:

“It’s okay.  I’ll call him back later.  You and I are discussing your career goals.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get your voicemail until this morning boss.  I was at my daughter’s dance recital.”

Calm People Exude Positivity

Have you ever met a stressed out “glass half full” person?  Doubtful.  On the other hand, stressed out “glass half empty” people are around every corner.

Positive people tend to see the opportunities and not dwell on the obstacles.  They move to problem solving mode and do not linger in problem finding mode.  I know when I am focusing on solutions instead of problems my stress level goes down.

People who major in the negative possibilities of every situation always seem unhappy and on the verge of exploding.  They also tend to spend more time alone because they wear other people out.  If others people do spend time with them, they tend to be the stressed out and negative types as well.

When people see the possibilities instead of the obstacles, they tend to have hope.  When someone has hope, that hope attracts others.

A Person Who Exudes Positivity May Say:

“Wow.  I guess that could happen, but I can see three other possibilities that would turn this into a win for us.”

“He may have had a good relationship at our largest account.  But I think we are missing the fact that now that he is gone, we can finally hire someone who can build better relationships at our other accounts as well.”

The Bottom Line:

Stress happens.  Circumstances occur in everyone’s lives that can cause us to lose our cool.  Unfortunately, some people exist in a world of perpetual anxiety.  What can they learn from those who always seem to stay calm?

1. Perspective:  What is the big picture?  Keep that in focus and the bumps in the road will just be part of the journey.
2. Prioritize:  What’s really important?  Identify those few key priorities and don’t let the small stuff take over.
3. Positivity:  What could go right?  Look for reasons something will work versus reasons it won’t.

Calm people stay calm because they have developed habits that help them stay calm in real or imagined pressure situations.  Perspective, Prioritizing and Positivity are all habits that calm people tend to have.

For some, this is easier than others. It is part of their personalities.  For others, their personalities push them towards other habits that create stress.  But, these are our personalities not our destinies.

How do we change our habits?  One decision at a time.

We can change our behaviors and form new habits that will help us be considered one of the calm ones.  That is a lot better than acting like a little canine hopped up on caffeine

Question:

What decisions can you begin to make to change your perspective, to prioritize or to look at circumstances in a more positive manner?

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He was more amped up then a Chihuahua after a can of Red Bull.  Here was my peer yelling at me because some people were sitting in the wrong area of a conference room during a sales meeting.

When I told him we could “make it work as is”, he said “Well I am glad you can be so flip about this Dave!”

Some people do not react well to stress.  In fact some people create their own stress and then don’t react to it well.  On the other hand, other people never seem flustered by the most stressful circumstances.  What do the calm have that the amped up Chihuahua does not?

Are You Really Calm?

Calm People Maintain Perspective

My response to the Red Bull addicted Chihuahua was “Maybe I seem flip because a few years ago I had people in the Middle East trying to shoot me.  This issue seems to pale in comparison.”

That may have not been the most eloquent way to handle the situation, but it illustrates how perspective helps people remain calm.  Experience can give seasoned veterans perspective, just as my experience in the Middle East gave me perspective.

When someone loses sight of the big picture, stress is not far behind.   Some of us have been through a lot in business or in life that allows us to stay calm.  This perspective needs to be shared to bolster the inexperienced people around us.

We lose perspective when we focus on the means without regard for then end or on ourselves without regard for others.  In both cases our perspective becomes myopic and our ability to remain calm is hindered.

A Person With Perspective May Say:

“Yeah.  Things aren’t good.  But lets focus on fixing this versus looking at the possibility of complete and utter failure.”

“I know this is hard on you now.  But, what can you take from it that will make you better?”

Calm People Prioritize

If I don’t know what is important, then everything seems important.  Stressed people tend to move from one crisis to another.  Their days are filled with problems, causing them to eat Tums like they are M&M’s.

I know as a leader, a husband and a father I have to juggle a lot of balls.   If I regard everything I am juggling like balls of fine crystal, dropping one feels like a disaster.  But in reality, some of the balls I am juggling are rubber balls.  They can be dropped without much damage.

Calm people know what their priorities are at work and in life.  They are calm because they have established what is important to them and rarely allow circumstances to cause them to waver from those priorities.

Honestly, if circumstances are consistently changing my priorities, then those things are not my real priorities.  Claiming priorities does not make them priorities, my actions do. 

A Person Who Prioritizes May Say:

“It’s okay.  I’ll call him back later.  You and I are discussing your career goals.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get your voicemail until this morning boss.  I was at my daughter’s dance recital.”

Calm People Exude Positivity

Have you ever met a stressed out “glass half full” person?  Doubtful.  On the other hand, stressed out “glass half empty” people are around every corner.

Positive people tend to see the opportunities and not dwell on the obstacles.  They move to problem solving mode and do not linger in problem finding mode.  I know when I am focusing on solutions instead of problems my stress level goes down.

People who major in the negative possibilities of every situation always seem unhappy and on the verge of exploding.  They also tend to spend more time alone because they wear other people out.  If others people do spend time with them, they tend to be the stressed out and negative types as well.

When people see the possibilities instead of the obstacles, they tend to have hope.  When someone has hope, that hope attracts others.

A Person Who Exudes Positivity May Say:

“Wow.  I guess that could happen, but I can see three other possibilities that would turn this into a win for us.”

“He may have had a good relationship at our largest account.  But I think we are missing the fact that now that he is gone, we can finally hire someone who can build better relationships at our other accounts as well.”

The Bottom Line:

Stress happens.  Circumstances occur in everyone’s lives that can cause us to lose our cool.  Unfortunately, some people exist in a world of perpetual anxiety.  What can they learn from those who always seem to stay calm?

1. Perspective:  What is the big picture?  Keep that in focus and the bumps in the road will just be part of the journey.
2. Prioritize:  What’s really important?  Identify those few key priorities and don’t let the small stuff take over.
3. Positivity:  What could go right?  Look for reasons something will work versus reasons it won’t.

Calm people stay calm because they have developed habits that help them stay calm in real or imagined pressure situations.  Perspective, Prioritizing and Positivity are all habits that calm people tend to have.

For some, this is easier than others. It is part of their personalities.  For others, their personalities push them towards other habits that create stress.  But, these are our personalities not our destinies.

How do we change our habits?  One decision at a time.

We can change our behaviors and form new habits that will help us be considered one of the calm ones.  That is a lot better than acting like a little canine hopped up on caffeine

Question:

What decisions can you begin to make to change your perspective, to prioritize or to look at circumstances in a more positive manner?

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